Sexual Assault
By Krista Warnke
Public Education Coordinator
Sexual Assault Centre (Hamilton & Area)
What is the definition of sexual assault?
Sexual assault is defined as any unwanted sexual activity. It can range from unwanted sexual touching to unwanted penetration or rape and it is a criminal act.
Can a man sexually assault his wife?
Absolutely, yes. However, many women are not aware that it is a crime for a husband to rape his wife. Indeed, up until 1983 in Canada it was legal for a husband to have sex with his wife without her permission. The laws have been changed so that, now, a woman can have her partner charged with sexual assault.
Also, some women do whatever their abusive husband/boyfriend wants, including having sex even though she doesn't want to. For example, it may be safer to give in to his demands than to say ‘no'. Or, if she allows him to have sex now, it may prevent violence in the future or he may not hurt the children. In these examples, women may not think it was sexual assault because she consented. The reality is that our laws say that if consent was given under threats of violence, there was no consent. It is sexual assault.
Why do women blame themselves?
We live in a culture where rape myths are very common. Many people believe that it is a wife's "duty" to have sex with her husband or that a woman who is sexually assaulted has "asked for it" in some way. Women have the right to say "no" to their husbands and sexual assault is a violent crime that has nothing to do with what a woman wore or where she was at the time of the sexual assault.
Regardless of the circumstances, it is never a woman's fault. The offender is always 100% responsible for sexual assault.
What are some of the effects of sexual assault?
Every woman is different and reacts in her own way. However, some common experiences are:
A woman's sense of control and safety in the world may be damaged, and as a result, it is natural to experience a wide range of emotions.
How can a woman help herself?
Women who have survived sexual violence can help themselves by being aware of their own needs and looking after them. It is essential to take time for themselves and to remember that healing is often a long process. It requires patience and being gentle with oneself.
Getting support can be beneficial. Calling an anonymous, confidential 24-hour telephone line or talking with a skilled counsellor are options for support. Help is available at community-based or hospital-based sexual assault centres, community agencies and from counsellors in private practice.